Electronic Foolishness

Everything's the size of my head

2006-07-12T17:16:00.000-06:00

June 2006 World Cup Germany
day 9

lots of dunkels and weiss beer

a couple of things i missed. first of all there are a lot of good old boy us soccer fans here. Didnt even know they existed but they do. picture big guys with southern drawls and nascar fans but also like soccer. this is the market us soccer should be focusing on to bring in the crowds. these are the guys who take an old chevy and convert it into the worlds largest hydraulic air horn to blow at their kids soccer game. also i did remember one of the german cheers. whenever germany has the ball entire tables of germans shake their fists in the air and shout in unison attacken attacken attacken. Im telling you if germany wins the world cup poland will be immediately annexed and tanks will roll into france. the youth of germany have a lot of pent up energy and they are bored.

so remember all those swedes that were coming into berlin. well apparently they were playing paraguay not many paraguay fans here so it ended up being 50,000 swedes in berlin stadium for that game according to the news. thats a lot of swedes who was the poor guy left behind to man the ikea.

also forgot to mention that anhauser busch won the beer concession for all world cup stadium games. of course germans none too pleased by this with all the other wonderful choices. some germans with tickets to us games where us jerseys and cheer for the us, but some i saw had us jerseys and on the back wrote usa good, bush bad. wasnt sure if they were refering to the president or to the fact that only budweiser is being served.

As i mentioned before on friday we headed to munich. love munich beers the size of my head followed by pretzels the size of my head. I have pictures to prove it. ive taken to measuring everything against the size of my head. town is full of brasilians and australians as they just played tonight. first night here walking down the street saw an impromptu brasilian carnival band. hats, trumpets, drums. as they walked down the street they ran into a bunch of scottsmen. the scotts arent in the world cup but they are known for having good fans. these guys had tickets to the game and so were wearing brazil jerseys and kilts. at the sight of the brazilian band the scotts rushed to meet them in the streets carrying their one liter beers and a whole dance party broke out with scotts and brasilians and a few australians thrown in for good measure. we are staying right in the middle of everything here and so every night all you here all night is people dancing and chanting in the streets.

I was in a beer hall yesterday with an oom pa pa band and it suddenly broke into oh so lo mio and all these italians fans started singing along and then followed it up with volaire. of course the aussies and brasilians couldnt be kept quiet this long so afterwards they needed to start singing.

last night we went to watch the usa vs. italy game from the fanfest in olympic park. this is at the sight of the 1972 olympic games and i am still impressed by the architecture of the various facilities. all the buildings look like huge cranes are pulling them up. well this place was packed as it was a saturday night for germans and the australians and brasilians had nothing to do until their game today. there was a giant screen setup in the middle of a lack and everyone laying in the grass around drinking huge liter beers. that is one of the cool things. Ive been to the fanfest in berlin and munich and at both they serve the local specialty beers so in berlin smaller beers of the berliner weiss variety but here big beers of the local munich brews. and all at normal prices not inflated. brasilians were off in a corner where music was playing dancing of course. the rest of us were watching the game. tons and tons of italians were there i guess because it was saturday and a short trip from italy to munich. before the game there was some sort of dance off between us and italian fans hosted by whatever local dj they had mcing. the mcs for these fanfests crack me up because they totally sound like saturday night live skits of germans trying to use hip happening english. as the game started and both national anthems were played the crowd in munich went wild with people of both nations standing to sing the national anthems.Now again this is here in munich the actual game was being played on the other side of the country but still there were a ton of fans hear in munich getting fully into it. Lots of germans chose to rout for the us, I think because we are like the kansas city royals of soccer and they have fun routing for the underdog and also because I genuinly feel they just enjoy chanting usa, usa, usa... say it with me usa, usa, usa... see you cant help but have fun doing it. So the game was really exciting (i have taken to using the germans attacken chant and because of all the flops the italians were taking to draw fouls i got to use the line...i havent seen so many italians fall over since world war ii) and nearly awesome if that offsides goal had counted but the important thing is that now we still have a chance of moving on to the next round if italy beats the czechs and if we beat ghana. so you know what that means. still more chaos and craziness in nuremburg on thursday for the us game and i cant wait to be a part of it. On the way home got into a bizarre conversation with a swiss/ swedish guy who was impressed that i knew in switzerland they speak german and french and in sweden speak swedish. Apparently most americans dont get that. he had taught snowboarding in aspen for a while. but that just brings up again that we keep finding americans over here clueless about the world cup they just happend to plan the normal summer vacation to europe with no awareness that the world cup was going on and many with seeming annoyance by it. my favorite was some australians telling us a story about how some american girl asked them if they play tfhe world cup in germany every year and the best part was that she nailed the ditzy american teenage girl voice in mimicking it.

Today went to dachau which was somber well except for all the australians and brasilians wearing there outfits for the game later that day but trying to get in a little sightseeing beforehand. let me ask you a question. why would you have a picture of yourself taken smiling standing inside the gas chamber showers at dachau?? or standing behind a cell door smiling away like you are in the stocks at colonial williamsburg?? are these pictures you plan on hanging on your mantle??? But yet sure enough people do it. they did remain pretty somber until the bus ride back to munich then the brasilians had started singing again becuase they couldnt hold it in anymore.

So watched the australia vs. brasil game at the lowenbrau brew house with the australian and brasilian fans who couldnt get tickets. brasil won of course. off to do some more sightseeing tomorrow and then on to nuremberg on tuesday to get ready for the game thursday afternoon. Im really excited for whatever chaos will occur. we already have the info on the sams army parties planned for before the game. Im hoping for at least one guy dressed as same the eagle from the muppets....

later days,

brian

Sam's Army

2006-07-12T17:07:00.000-06:00

June 2006 World Cup

day 5
pilsner many
hefeweizen many
alts many
berliner weiss rot (rasberry beer) a few
alster wasser (beermixed with lemondate or sprite) many.

hey everyone,

first post from the world cup in germany. I'm going to spend more time talking about the world cup than about germany since most people have been to europe and also because i realize visiting third world countries is much more interesting to me than europe.

So this trip has made me realize how horrible it was having the world cup in the us vs. europe or anywhere. I remember the cup in 94 in dc and it wasn't nearly as insane mostly I think because it was so spread out.

Left for germany on saturday from newark to cologne and this was my first indication that this was going to be something different. I am used to traveling and trying to stay incognito as an american. not during world cup every one from every country flies its colors. plane was packed with us soccer geeks in all sorts of us gear. everyone talking the cup on the flight over and everyone packing all sorts of outfits they were going to wear to the game (more on that later).

first day here was quiet as we were in duissberg because we couldn't get a room in gelsenkirchen where the first game was going to be played so we just sat aroundand watched on tv. this whole area of germany usually doesn't get tourists as it is an industrial area. next day we head to gelsenkircken by train. german's have arranged that your game ticket entitles you to free rail passage anywhere in the region on game day. smart move and one i couldn't see the us sacrificing the cash on doing something similar. We get off train in gelsenkirchen and immediately i know it is going to be a good day as vodaphone hands me bam sticks and everyone knows how i love my bam sticks. walk through town and it is packed with fans for the game. I've never seen anything like it. us fans had taken over a brewpub near the station but werealso wandering the streets. czechs took over a sidestreet full of cafes. the costumes were insane. I saw 3 uncle sam's, one evil kneivel, one captain america, one guy with a wolverine mask painted red white and blue and wearing red tights. american area full of singing and chanting. ole ole ole usa usa.... czechs singing and chanting on their st. as well. every once in a while an american or a czech would run up and down the street with a flag and start a whole new round of chanting. again still strange for me to travel and be so blatant about being an american expected to look up in the windows above town and see al quaeda members masturbating, but only saw old german women shaking their heads at the noise. some dutch fans in town gave a us chant and were cheered back with a chant to the tune of he's got the whole world in his hands with the words you've got the best doobies in the land.

later had to travel to stadium by tram and it was packed. got there and an even bigger sea of people. stadium holds 48,000 and announced attendance was 52000. our seats were in a corner with the rest of the us fans. opposite corner was a sea of red jersey's of the czech fans. many more czechs than us but still a good turn out. odd game note. In germay you have to pay a 1euro deposit on the plastic cup for beer or soda which you get back if you bring the cup back after the game some people getting 14 euro refunds. Lots of chanting and singing at the game and both national anthems were sung rowdily and heartily. Also saw someone with a blow up baby stewie don't know why but it was cool. the game sucked as the us lost 3-0 and looked horrible. so not much cheering. sat next to a guy from angola who knew the us players prettz well as they were on his fantasy world cup team. After the game got packed into train cars for trip back to town and it was disconcerting as germans are adept at packing railcars to point of suffocation. In town a quieter atmosphere after the game but people started gathering to watch the italy ghana match on tv. stopped at a mr. chicken to watch. manager kept pulling tables out of the back to find more space near tvs. I pictured him thinking people want chicken and they want to watch the world cup it is my responsibility to make those dreams come true.

next day we traveled by train to berlin. as we got closer to berlin the train became more packed with various fans. on the train were angolans, many brasilians headed to the game that night in berlin and partying the whole time, some croatians also playing that night and some costa ricans. sat next to the costa ricans and both lamented the poor showing of the american teams so far. berlin was just a see of people for the game in town that night. everywhere you went brazilians dancing in the streets blowing whistles. ate dinner at a restaurant and watched a game with brazilian, croatian, english, australian fans. later that night we watched the brazil and croat game at a bar near our hotel with germans and english fans. english fans taught us a chant. 'we all agree ronaldo is fatter than rooney' which refers to the allegedly overweight brazil star. rooney plays for england. english fans glad we were here for the world cup as they keep running into american's in germany who had no idea the cup was going on.

so yesterday it was funny to watch the yellow jersey's of brazil leave berlin and the yellow jersey's of sweden arrive for their game tonight. city is packed with swedes now drinking the day away before their game tonight and spontaneously breaking out into chants and clapping now and again.

Yesterday was my birthday and my special treat was that I was in berlin when germany was playing poland. just imagine the geopolitical history in that. we had been down at the fanfest by the brandenburg gate. which now has giant tv screens hanging behind it for watching games. but before the game we went back to the hotel for a nap. I was awoken at game time by the sound of the city singing the german national anthem as the game was about to start. went down to a beer garden towatch the game with some germans. German nationaliism is high right now flags hanging everywhere everywhere we go and people drapped in flags. (lots of us fans wearing american flags including the disturbing sight of american woman wearing the flag as a bra slash halter top thing as if to say we may never beat you in soccer but we will lead the world in the production of artificially enlarged breasts). German fans were insane with chants through0ut the game and we were just at a little bar. I tried to pick up as much of the chants as i could with my german but difficult with the slurring. at one point after a dive by a polish player i in particular heard a german yell out 21jump st. so I imagine that is his definition of bad acting. when germany scored the place errupted and a spontaneous organized rally erupted in the courtyard. and I'm not joking the germans defeated poland and immediately began marching around. you can't take the german out of germany.

we are off to munich tomorrow where we will have to watch the us italy game on tv but then on to nuremberg for the us ghana game and i hope it still has some meaning so that the atmosphere will be as electric as gelsenkirchen was.

my german is coming back to me pretty well. oh also bad german keyboard with letters not in usual places so sorry for the weird spellings.

One fashion note capris for men aregetting big in europe will bill return wearing them????

later days,

Brian

End of The Trail

2006-01-21T21:46:00.000-07:00

August 2005:

Day 16 (last one)
Coca Teas 35
Pisco sours no change
monya teas no change
cervaza limited but satisfying amount.

Before I talk about the inca trail two notes. One when the spanish came to conquer they pretty much put up government and catholic buildings on top off all the inca temples and stuff to assert authority. And interestingly enough whenever you tour a place like that the guides just talk about the inca stuff and ignore whatever church or whatever your in. Man do they hate the spanish which is funny cause so many people from spain visit. Another note. The weird mix of opinion that guides have is quite interesting. You never get straight facts on anything you just get someone telling you what some of the predominating theories are about a particular subject and then suddenly they say but my theory is blah blah blah. So I never really know what to believe.

Inca trail....

So Wednesday got up around 5 and the assistant guide and some porters came to the hotel to gather us for the bus ride to the trial head. After gathering everyone up we have 12 people in our group 17 porters, a cook, an assistant cook, a guide, and an assistant guide. Quite an expedition but luckily a small group as we ran into groups ont he trail with over 20 people plus porters etc. Our group was very euro centric. Besides the 3 of us there were two english couples (one who works for GE money in England interestingly enough), a scottish couple, a french woman, and the American couple that became known as the uber americans. We gave them that name becuase they were on their honeymoon and the guy is some sort of grad student in outdoorism or something and is a rock climbing guide so he seemed rather perturbed that this whole thing was beneath him. I´ll get more into it later but I can totally see this couple on the amazing race in a couple of seasons having a total mental breakdown when the guy can´t understand why they aren´t winning every event with their massive outdoor knowledge at the point where the are last in the stack 12 alligator eggs and then eat them roadblock.

So we head off on the bus and make a stop at ollyantambo to pick up bamboo hicking sticks and coca leaves (about $2 total). The porters decided to pick up some ceviche to eat on the bus great the bus already smelled horribly moldy what is was missing was a fish smell. Interesting too the dynamic. There are too many people for the bus so the porters are sitting in the aisles but the guide and assistant guide take command seats in the front next to the driver.

We finally arrive at KM 82 the start of our 26 mile 4 day trek. So we start hiking write. Wrong. We get in line behind the other groups that are starting the trail that day as well to go through the checkpoint to have our passports and permits checked. I think kimberly would appreciate the care with which they set up the queuing area as it had a thematic roller coaster line feel about it. It is here that we first see the porters in action as they start walking the trail. Short little 5 ft. guys some in there sixties with calves that would make johnny drama envious. I mean there calves looked like arnold shwarzeneger´s biceps in his mr. universe hey day. And it is amazing what they are carrying. We see one guy with a propane tank strapped to his back. Another guy carrying around 20 stools. A guy carrying a bunch of stuff in a rice sack on his back topped with about 6 dozen eggs. And the thing is these guys run the trail they don´t walk it they run everywhere they go.

So first day is rather easy. And even funnier in that the first days trail goes through some small villages so as I am hiking along little kids are walking the trail with notebooks in hand coming home from school. We stop for lunch and get our first incling as to what we are in for. As we walk into the area where the lunch tent is set up (yes tent with table, stools, and metal plates and silverware) the juice guy is waiting for us with a glass of juice as we stumble in. Oh how I grew to love the juice guy. Then there is garlic bread sitting on the table, along with a first coure of soup and a second course of rice and trout. I have a feeling this will be the first hiking trip where I gain weight. And the guide and assistant guide have heaping plates I don´t know how they stay such skinny people. Oh and uber american guy very perturbed that there are stools. So we finish our hike that afternoon to our first camp where juice guy is waiting and all the porters applaud us. I find this rather patronizing. I mean yeah white guy you put one foot in front of the other. Let me cheer you when I get here since well I left after you got here before you and set up camp and had your dinner ready but hey here you are good for you buddy.

Next morning up at 5:30 and awoken by porter who immediately hands me a coca tea in bed. Coca tea at every meal but the coca tea wake up call is always welcome. We have another big breakfast of pancakes and porridge and head off ont he trail. This is the day of 3700 ft. elevation gain to the top of dead woman´s pass at around 13,700 I think. So kind of like a 14´er hike except this is where I learn that incas don´t have switchbacks they just build stare cases which are so much more painful and steep. Our guide tells us to chew coca leaves to avoid altitude sickness and for extra energy. You don´t really chew you just suck the juice out as the guide said ¨suck the natural cocaine out." A little bit exhausting but nothing worse than other stuff I´ve done. Basically the 3 of us ended up in the upper end of the group as far as hiking ability well except for the uber couple although I beat them on the first day as part of colorado vs. oregon pride. and the french woman who has been treking through south america for 3 months. Except for the other american couple everyone else is on long 3 month sabbaticals from work traveling around south america. I learn that GE in England hands out 3 month sabbaticals like candy.

After reaching the top of the pass we begin our decent down. And again stairs. I will never say a bad thing about switchbacks again. My knees were killing me. Uber american passes me with his hands in his pockets. Damn him. His wife struggles to keep up fearing she will be beaten if she doesnÂ´t prove at least close to equal to his abilities but he had bullied her into not getting a walking stick like everyone else and she was short and struggled with the big steps. I learn that this part of the trail was built this way only about 10 years ago (I imagine to cut down on erosion) so not original inca construction. We make it down to our campsite around 1 p.m. again juice guy there (yeah) and the patronizing applouse. We have a huge lunch with soup and pork and chicken (which we had seen the porters chasing earlier in the day) and chocolate pudding for dessert. We have the rest of the afternoon to lay around as it is the end of our hike for the day. We can see the trail rising to the second pass from the door of our tent and also see some inca ruins half way up. As the day goes by a miasmus rolls in slowly obscuring the entire valley. Finally at 5:30 it is tea time with coca tea and hot cocoa and popcorn and cheese empanadas and animal crackers (hey look a puma). We hang around and talk (oh uber american guy brought his own french press and own coffee yeah see isnÂ´t he annoying). And next thing you know it is dinner time. We are still full of popcorn but we choke another big dinner down followed by a special treat of hot coca tea mixed with pisco. Again uber american guy frothing about alcohol on the trail). And off to bed as we wake at 5:30 again.

Next morning is by far the greatest hiking day I have ever had. It was already pretty good but this day made it so I may never be able to hike in colorado again. So we hike up the second pass stopping at an inca ruin. Again this whole time we are surrounded by the Andes which are really quite impressive and much more interesting and diverse than the rockies. A little farther up we pass two ceremonial ponds were the pilgrims who used this trail used to ritually cleanse themselves before reaching machu picchu. around this time I start seeing a lot of orchids and peruvian humming birds which are the size of pigeons. Once at the top of the second pass the real inca trail begins with original construction. And more damn steps. We stop at an inca ruin that was an astronomical site and just because of its location and size and the view I really ended up loving this spot more than macchu picchu itself. We continue along the trail and now start seeing the inca genius. Because unlike the modern trail this one is more of a stone ramp than steps the kind of path you would build for people to get places quickly or to carry heavy loads. Like an expressway on the way to work rather than the modern trail which is built more as a hiking trail so more straining at points. We pass through the cloud forest as the trail winds itÂ´s way along the mountain side. My friend the miasmas has returned so it has an otherworldly feel. We pass through several inca tunnels carved through solid rock again absolutely amazing. Finally we reach the top of the final pass where juice guy and lunch is waiting. I did not want this day to end it was so amazing. From here down the gringo killers. 3000 stone steps. We stop at some inca terraces along the way before finally reaching camp. The majority of the trail is over. At this place we intersect with other trails that trekkers use to reach machu picchu and the two day trail, the 5 day etc. Here there is also a bar and so we grab some beer to celebrate. Beer has never tasted so good. We buy our personal porter a beer as well and not sure if he was supposed to have it as he downs it in a flash.

We drink beer for our tea tonight along with more popcorn as we struggle to come up with a song. See tonight we tip the guides, cooks, and porters and they sing us a song so we have to sing one back. We all struggle to come up with a song but have a hard time finding one we know. Finally dinner arrives which is beef and chicken and sausage and topped off with some sangria. The porters come in and sing there song and we struggle through a rendition of I get by with a little help from my friends. Then down to the bar for a few more beers before going to bed for our 4 a.m. wake up call for the final spurt to macchu picchu.

So why wake up at 4 a.m. which came very early and no wake up tea just the porters tearing the tents down around us as they need to get down to km 104 to catch a 6 a.m. train and bring all the gear back to cusco. Well 4 a.m. cause there is another check point. So we get up and by 5 a.m. are standing in line at the check point there is alread one or two groups ahead of us. and the line stretches behind us. (only 500 people on the whole trail any day so that probably puts about 100 at that section of the trial that morning). When ever a late sleeper tries to cut through the line to meet up with there group they are met with a chorus of boos. The french girl in our group actually tries to block their path. The british guys just say well we are upset by it two but because we are british we won´t do anything about it and just let them go. I respond well as an american we will let them pass then figure out what country they came from and annhiliate it´s entire population.

Finally the checkpoint opens and we are off. It is like one of the fleeing scenes from war of the worlds everyone going faster and faster. I want to take off my sweatshirt as it´s getting warm but afraid that I will lose my spot and never or worse be trampled. At one point we are scrambling three abreast on hands and knees up a stone staircase. We finally reach the Sun Gate where we can watch the sun rise over macchu picchu but alas my arch enemy the miasmas is back and so we can´t see anything. So we begin our hike down to macchu picchu to get there before the hords of day tourists. Already some day hikers who stayed at the $1,000 a night hotel at macchu pichu are walking up to the sun gate. I can smell the soap on them from 20 feet away. We get down to macchu picchu get our passports stamped with the special macchu picchu stamp and take a tour of the site. Again our guide mixes various speculations. virgin sacrifice center, andean university, built by aliens, etc. Whatever you think when your in peru and see all the places that the peruvians built you are still amazed their empire only lasted 250 years. Through out our trip all our guides practice a mix of inca religion and catholicism. Our guides even pour out their first sip of water everyday as an offering to the Gods. By 10:00 the place is packed with day tourists who took the train from cusco the smell of soap is overwhelming. And of course all the obese tourists. I never saw any in all of peru but then at macchu picchu they were everywhere. Do they come for the buffet lunch? Damn them and there unneeded walking sticks and camel backs they are walking around for 5 minutes. So we head down to town for lunch with our group and our guides. Say a last good bye to our personal porter and guides and hope the backpacker train for cusco. This was more agonizing than the entire trail. very slow 4 hour train with 4 seats facing each other and no leg room and the entire car field with people who hadn't showered in days. (oh and our old friends the german family were on the train, I missed them although the wife still looked like she was scared we would talk to them). Finally back to cusco for a shower and meet up with the group that took the train back (some stayed in agues calientes for the night) for a celebratory beer. Now I am back in Lima wating to fly home late tonight.

Looking back it was an amazing cast of characters.

Pablo our everywhere driver in lima
Luis the bug eyed hotel owner in paracas who everyone who has been to paracas seems to know.
Arturo the ghost. A guy from LA who we met in paracas and we would see mysteriously the rest of our trip passing in a bus or walking down the street but never in a situation where we could talk to him.
Luis our ICA guide who was the first of many guides to be excessively concerned with our use of sun screen even yelling at matt when matt´s ears looked red that he wasn´t using enough.
The dune buggy driver who taught us punta madre although it doesn´t mean what we thought.
The crazy naranja dodge charger driver who I still have nightmares about.
The german family one legged dad, one armed wife, and cindy lou who son.
Louise and Clara the accidental irish stalkers in arequipa
Little lolita the teenage girl dancing in deja vus in arequipa who we knew was bound for trouble
pedophile peruvian the peruvian guy who hooked up with the little lolita on the dance floor
annoying dancing australian girl in arequipa who danced in the notice me notice me way
annoying long haird dancing german guy in arequipa see above
allanisse morriset girl who seemed to hate the whole scene
crush girl the harvard law student who IÂ´m afeared all women I meet will be compared
nike girl...when irish eyes are smiling
fat irish kid who owned every piece of clothing the london underground ever produced and who we feared would die when he did the trail but saw him at machu picchu so he must of made it.
lowrider. classic american guy who even hiking on amamanti island had to where his pants too low
lowriderette the girl with lowrider who also wore her pants to low but was going commando so you could see half her ass which was appropriate as everytime she opened her mouth it was something dumb
Estaban our lake titicaca guide who did nothing but ask rhetorical questions and answer them. Will we eat lunch together, Perhaps... 12 fit in the bus? o.k. 12
Janet and we can´t believe we canÂ´t remember her name the two peruvian girls we met at club extreme in cusco.
Dancing waitresses. The waitresses at club extreme who danced to every song and helped us with the translation with the two peruvian girls.
many more annoying spanish guy, annoying german guy etc.
soulman my nickname for our thought he was so cool guide on the inca trail. His real name was selso but he was a good guy.

So many more I´m leaving out and so many stories I still haven´t gotten to tell. But thanks for everyone who listened to my ramblings.

See you all soon.

Brian

Do You See the Puma

2006-01-21T21:45:00.000-07:00

August 2005:

Day 11

Coca Teas 20
Pisco Sours 9
monya teas 4
Cervaza way way too much

A couple of random thoughts before I go on. Everywhere I go in Peru there are dogs on the roofs of houses with no visible means of how they got there. I believe that they must put there dogs up there rather than tying them up or because there is no fence around the yard. Also it is very odd to me still that in Peru you can use both usd or soles. even from the atm machines. As for my pisco sours of my 9 I have not paid for a single one. they are always given to me for free just for agreeing to walk into a bar or restaurant or sometimes just in the middle of having lunch.

Where was I, oh yeah we took a bus from puno to cusquo. Cusquo is everything I dreamed it would be. We decided that juliaca (which is near puno) is the mos eisley of peru. It is filled with black market goods smuggled in from bolivia and apparently the main profession there is driving one sort of vehicle or another. I have heard of a guy there who did the juliaca to cusquo run in under 4 parsecs. But so if juliaca is mos eisley Cusquo is Casablanca. It is so different from everywhere else in Peru. We decided it is most like an alpine ski village in looks but also it is just such a weird international place. The town is filled with people either headed out on a trek or coming back from one and you could buy anything you could ever imagine here that you would need for any outdoor adventure.

Cusquo is filled with bars and restaurants and has all sorts of narrow cobblestone streets. When you go out looking for a place to eat you get absolutely swarmed by people trying to get you to go to your restaurant. The first night here we made the mistake of stopping an looking at a menu and then we were swarmed. We have gotten to the point now if that happens to one of us then the others just go on and leave that person to fend for them selves. Going up gringo alley (which is a small pedestrian mall filled with restaurants) it is like something out of a movie as someone constantly steps of the curb and starts following you trying to get you to eat there and offering free drinks. It gets no better later at night when the bars start doing the same thing, but again with the free drink offers. The other night we just finally picked a bar we wanted to go to and made a dash for it. Jason had to pull a couple of barry sanders moves to get there and I literally had to drag three people along with me who were tugging on my jacket as I made my sprint there.

We´ve done a couple of tours of nearby inca ruins which have been cool and some have been really amazing with climbing up into the mountains and climbing original inca stairwells. But there is some strange addiction here by tour guides to say that everything looks like a puma they always point at a mountain or a wall or something and say look do you see the puma and these people are doing a lot more coca than me cause I don´t see nothing.

Matt continues to struggle with his spanish. The other day he went into a store and asked how many rooms rather than how much but even funnier the other day he went in a store and wanted to ask if they had coca cola, but what he kept saying over and over again was I have a coca cola. Which left the store owner perplexed and unable to reply with anything but bueno senior bueno.

Paid the final balance on our inca trail trek and met our guide. He walked us through the whole trip (stressing the importance of chewing lots of coca leaves to avoid altitude sickness or just to push through the hikes). But after the descriptions we are more excited than ever. We got a map of the trail but it is like some sort of disneyland map or the kind of map that would be a place mat in a restaurant so it is not exactly the most practicle thing. We leave tomorrow morning at 5 a.m. to head to the starting point of the hike. So I will be out of touch until at least saturday night when we return to cusquo. And maybe not until sunday when we are in Lima. We fly home early monday morning.

later days,

Brian

White Men Can't Dance

2006-01-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

August 2005:

Day 8
Coca teas 12
pisco sours 6
monya teas 4
cervaza wow none for two days

hey can someone please save my last email and send it back to me i forgot to save a copy for myself.

So just got back from the islands in lake titicaca and I am not sure how that experience can be topped the rest of my trip.

Friday morning headed out on the boat. We first headed out to the uros islands which are artificial floating islands made out of reeds. very tiny with only a few families living on them. On the way out there we headed through these narrow reed waterways and I felt like I was on my way to eliminate colonel Kurtz. The floating islands are very squishy. If you ran on them you would develop extremely strong legs as it is worse than walking on sand. We took a ride on a reed boat from one of the locals he didn't make us pay when we got on (remember don't pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side) but halfway through the ride he stopped the boat and wouldn't proceed until we paid him his money.

From there we headed on to amamanti island where we were to stay with a family. On amamanti island most people only speech Quechen so I was given a few quechen phrases to get me through and I have to say many quechen words sound like they are klingon. When we got there the woman of the island where there to meet us in ceremonial garb and take us to there houses. When we got there we saw the father of the family struggling to fill some water containers so we offered to help. Afterwards he asked us to sit and the courtyard and talk. He spoke spanish so it was easier. We talked all about how he built his home out of adobe and how he paved the courtyard with smooth stones taken from the lake. Then they brought us lunch consisting of an amazingly good soup and some fried queso (cheese) and a series of root potatoes grown on the island. That is where we also first tasted monya tea which is made from a plant that only grows on amamnti and tequile island and it is even better than coca tea. From there we climbed up the steep hillside to a meeting area. The daughter of the family brought us there knitting the whole time she walked. I think I forgot to mention lake titicaca as you may remember from elementary school is the highest commercially navigable lake in the world at over 13,000 ft. There we played soccer with some of the locals. Now a little soccer strategy lesson if you are going to play soccer against locals at 13,000 ft. press hard the first few minutes to score as you will be completely out of breath later and they will slaughter you. We then walked to the top of the island to watch the sunset. As we walked the children of the island played the pan flute and drum but they only knew fre ra jaque and one other song. And it got annoying quickly especially as I was sucking wind yet they were running around playing the flute.

We then returned to the family's house for dinner. We offered to help them prepare it and they asked us to help shuck some beans. There kitchen still has an open fire and the entire meal was cooked over the open fire as we watched. It consisted of another great soup and then some sort of pasta bean mill with tortilla's which were more like fried dough. And of course monya tea. We practiced English with there 11 year old son who was quite adept.

Earlier we had all bought the goofy alpaca hats with the ear flaps and so we were also given some ponchos to wear to a traditional folk dance that night. The foreign woman were given traditional skirts and blouses to wear. At the dance there was at first a band of young kids dressed in street clothes. Later another band arrived in matching blue ponchos. You should of seen the glare the first kids gave the uniformed kids. I was ready for a dance off. But I knew the steet kids would play with more soul than the uniformed kids. And I was right. The local girls asked all the foreigners to dance and we attempted to dance the folk dance but I have to say I can't dance in multi cultures. And it was quite exhausting as they were playing the 12 inch versions of the songs. At the end of the evening we returned home under the most amazing sky imaginable. More stars than I have ever seen in my life and a clear view of the milky way. I was able to spot the southern cross which I have not seen since being in fiji as a teenager. Next morning breakfast was great as well by far the best food I have eaten in peru is the food that the local families ate on this island.

Interesting note. The woman on the island have there first child on average at 17, 18, or 19. But they do not get married on average until around 25. This means a lot of single parents but this doesn{t seeme as frowned upon. I think I understand why. They leave the fields on the island fallow every other year. So plant one year and the other year the men go to puno to work. The main export of the island is crafts which the women produce such as the alpaca hats. So it is quite common for women to be without the men and taking care of things and also for the women to be financially independent. I guess maybe you could consider it a form of feminism.

Next day we traveled to tequile island this is the island where the men knit and they make two kinds of hats showing their status. The red hats mean a man is married the red and white hats indicate the man is single. Did not like this island as much but I think because I didn{t get as close with the locals. Although got an awesome view of the mountains of Bolivia from here.

Returned to Puno this afternoon and bought many alpaca sweaters for super cheap. $7. Oh and for those of you who receive a postcard appreciate the fact that international stamps cost 6 soles here and I{ve eaton many of my meals for less. Tonight we decided to forsake traditional food for pizza. We ordered the family size pizza and upon receiving it quickly realized that peruvian families are not 3 americans and had to order another one. Maybe that is also why we have such a hard time finding hats and sweaters large enough for us.

Oh did a quick survey of what travelers where reading cause I liked it so much when Mark did it. Here is a quick listing. Connections by jonathan franzen. How to be alone by Jonathan franzen (completely different person reading this), 100 years of solitude by gabrielle garcia marquez (this is the book I wanted to bring on the trip but decided to bring books i need to review instead), arron burr by gore vidal, the sound and the fury by faulkner, leviathan by can{t remembe....

The past few days hung out with a large group of irish who complained about the amount of steep walking on the island the whole time yet they are planning to do the inca trail hike as well????? Also talked to a german guy who had to change planes in atlanta and kept complaining about all the security in the us and the policies etc. Kind of funny when matt said [understand that in no way can I apologize on behalf of the united states, but if you like I can offer my own apologies}. Funny even the dad on amanti island talked to us about how tall buildings are in lima in the us as he couldn{t fathom buildings over 2 stories tall but even he asked us about what floors the planes crashed into in the world trade center.

So disappointed that I can{t get monya tea anywhere else in the world.

Off to cusco in the morning which is our last stop really as we leave from there for the inca trail.

later days,

Brian

Tastes Like Hairy Chicken

2006-01-21T21:41:00.000-07:00

August 2005:

Day 6
coca teas 7
pisco sours 5
cerveza more than adequate

Looking back yesterday I can't believe I forgot to talk more about the dodge charger driver. He was an old man with no teeth who spoke no english. every once in a while on the trip from ica to nasca he would just start pointing and shouting. at one point we passed an orange orchard and he just kept screaming in a high pitched voice naranjas naranjas (oranges) and he kept doing that everytime we passed an orange stand or whatever. So now when we get bored we just start shouting in high pitched voices naranjas naranjas.

So yesterday we were in arequipa. It was exotic meats day. for lunch we had as an appetizer this really good stuffed pepper thingy. collo relleno I think. red pepper stuffed with spicy meat and topped with melted cheese. then for the main course guinea pig. They fry the guinea pig an serve it with the head on. The also don't do too good a job of shaving all the hair off before cooking. It of course tastes like chicken, but not very much meat at all. Like if there was a kentucky fried guinea pig place you would have to buy the 5 guinea pig meal to fill up. For Dinner we ate alpaca. Now alpaca tastes good. It is a white meat and looks and tastes like pork. Maybe like Ted Turner promoting buffalo meat I will begin pushing alpaca meat in the U.S.

Another food story. We kept passing really great smelling bakeries all day and so Matt decided he had to get some and so he got a couple of big pastries. This was around dusk as we were heading down to the plaza de armas to get some pictures of the sun setting against all the white stone of the colonial structures. So matt is walking and eating these pastries and his face is covered in pastry. He looked like that seinfeld episode where george is really enjoying the sundae at the tennis match. Well first some vendor stopped and talked to him and said you were walking along and got the water in the mouth and had to eat your pastries. Then in the plaza he continued to eat these huge pastries as kids were begging for money or food around him (now you are not supposed to give money or food to the beggar kids because it only encourages parents to send more of there kids out begging so understandably he was trying to ignore them) but I have ! to say it was like a strange ugly americanism commentary on the world kind of thing as matt is gorging himself on pastries while he is surrounded by begging children.

We continue to run into many of the same tourists we see in other towns it is like the same 20 people are traveling around Peru. We ran into the strange german family again and we all laughed and the dad said the world is like a village no. But his wife seemed really upset that he would talk to us. Like somehow something bad would happen after he talked to the Americans.

Arequipa was a great city we enjoyed seeing more normal parts of life. Apparently in the furniture store you can get anything you want for 67 soles which is about 22 bucks. couches tables color tvs everything 67 soles. There is also more of a nightlife in ARequipa it doesn{t appear as if most peruvians are big dinner eaters as we almost see no one when we go out to dinner but in arequipa the restaurants were packed and we even went out to a club later that night to listen to a peruvian cover band. And they had quite an extensive set of covers from u2 to the killers.

This morning we took the bus to Puno which is on the shores of lake titticaca. Saw lots of alpaca herds and herders in traditional clothing along the way. Oh I forgot to mention the tendency of the buses to show illegal copies of very bad us action movies. So far I have seen a vin diesel movie that I think went straight to video, a steven seagal movie, and SWAT. All have a constant scroll saying report any fraudulent copying of this movie to the motion picture society. And they don't edit these movies at all for family viewing. It is a regular bus for families etc. but there is all sorts of violence and nudity. But then that seems really common around here. all the screen wallpaper on the computers in the internet cafes are of scantily clad women and every restaurant seems to have a calendar of a naked or scantily clad woman on the wall.

Someone asked me about what kinds of beer they drink in Peru. There is cristal which kind of sucked and then Cusquena and Ariquena which are both pretty good. They also drink Chin cha which is a type of fermented beverage made from corn. But I am confused because there is also a type of pisco wine called chin cha as well.

Tomorrow we are headed out into lake titticaca to stay on one of the islands overnight. You stay with a family and they feed you and you get to learn about there culture. I am really excited. One of the things you need to do is of course bring a gift for the family and popular options are always fruit or milk since they don't get those on the islands. But another gift is children's books to help the children learn to read. So stopped by a bookstore tonight to buy some children's book of a certain type that they are using to teach the children to read. One of the books I bought was a children's version of Hamlet. Which what makes this so amazing is not only did they seem to find a way to explain the plot of hamlet in terms a child can understand but they managed to condense it down to five pages. The cover is a cartoon picture of a boy holding the skull of eurich in his hands. I liked it so much I think I am going to g! et myself a copy.

So I'll either write when I get back from the islands on saturday night or when I am in cusco on sunday.

later days,

Brian

Enough of This, Now Penguins

2006-01-21T21:38:00.000-07:00

August 2005:

day 5
coca teas 5
pisco sours 4
cerveza adequate

Finally have a chance to write from Peru. And no I didn't die in the jungle plane crash
This will be really disjointed as the keyboard i am writing on has letters and symbols in the wrong places and missing.

Arrived on Saturday night and stayed the night in miraflores which is a coastal suburb of lima. really nice area that i could picture having a condo in. the driver who picked us up at the airport at 10 p.m. was the same driver who picked jason up at 4 in the morning that day. He also turned out to be the guy who drove us to the bus station the next morning so know we just pretend every driver we have is the same guy.

Sunday took a bus to Paracas. Along the way saw lots of suns for candidates running in the 2006 election but a bunch of signs said leonardo da vinci. Do you believe he is running perhaps hoping to capitilize on the name recognition from the davinnci code. Also saw these very bizzare combo basketball and soccer courts. soccer fields with cement ground and then the basketball backboard is on top of the soccer net cross bar. seems like it just makes both sports impossible to play.

In paracas we took a tour through paracas national park which is a coastal yet desert area. this was our first sighting of the strange german family. mom has a fake hand, dad has a fake leg, and son has hair like cindy lou hoo. We run into them everywhere we go now. Bus through paracas national park got flat tires twice and somehow even though we only had one spare to begin with the crew managed to keep finding more in some mythical place. we ended up with three extra tires. apparently in the deserts of paracas the laws of math and matter do not apply. Next morning we took a trip out to san ballesta island where we got real close with sea lions and pengiuns. It was pretty impressive and exceeded our expectation

Monday we went to ica. at one point our driver stopped in a field to show us the parasite that grows on cactuses that are crushed up to make red dye. then some of the farmers wandered over and the driver talked to them quickly gave them a few sols and said we better go now. Later we went to a pisco winery|distillary? it was great they clay casks were in some old garage like structure with a hodge podge of other things like swords and shrunken heads and old phonograph players. and they dipped bamboo poles into the casks to give us samples. usually in a tasting you take it slow but apparently down here they treat it like a frat party cause everytime we finished they were quickly pouring us another one. and pisco is 45% alcohol.

Later in the oasis near ica we were walking around and a guide wanted to show us a map of the area and so took us into the library. well the local librarian got very excited to explain something to us but he only spoke spanish and finally he called upon all his skills as a librarian ran in the library quickly used his superior dewey decimal skills and uncovered an english spanish dictionary to show us that he was trying to tell us about locust trees that grow in the desert. It was like he was some sort of insane indiana jones character. the mad librarian.

later that afternoon we took a dune buggy ride through the huge mountainside dunes of ica. what a blast. went up big hills and came down steep ones like the first drop of a rollercoaster only with the chance of flipping over. then went sandboarding on the dunes which is like snowboarding but slower and sandier.

Next morning our wacky vehicle experience continued as the driver taking us to nasca drove an old pimped out dodge charger. the thing had been coverted from an automatic back to a manual. driver didn{t speak any english and even jason{s spanish skills were tested as the old man had no teeth. picture the crazy guy sitting on a porch cackling at passers by and you get the picture. he drove like a madman as well and because it was a dodge charger i got the perfect expereience of when he tried to pass a truck on a hairpin curve of yelling out "I don{t know about you but I don{t think the duke boys are gonna make it"

In Nasca flew over the nasca lines which is a sick enducing experience but still interesting. In the afternoon we visit the cemetery at chillua which would never exist in the us. bones and human hair everywhere and people just picking them up. our guide at one point just starts digging in the sand and pulling out femurs and jawbones etc.

last night we took the 10 hour overnight bus trip to arequipa in the mountains so we are done with the desert finally.

so far the trip has been awesome and my sesame street level spanish has been improving and going o.k. oh word for Bill , Becharra. definately not as scary a place as india, very easy to get around and travel. maybe that is just because of india experience before that i can handle anyplace now.

so much more to tell but we need to go eat some guinea pig.

later days,

Brian

End of the Road

2006-01-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

March 2003:

Sinquerim Beach, GOA

Cumulative cups of chai\masala tea this trip: 80 something

Nearly at the end now. Get on a train tomorrow morning for the 12 hour trip back to mumbai and from the train station to the airport to wait for my flight 3 a.m. wednesday morning.

India lost the Cricket world cup to Australia yesterday. While in Dehli they were playing the semifinal against Kenya. Watched some of that. Watched for an hour and India was batting. Then went to dinner and came back and India was batting. Then went out and wandered around the bazaar for a while and came back and India was batting. When I went to bed India was still batting and I assume at some point in the night they stopped.

Interestingly Scott Mcnealy was in Dehli at the same time I was putting to end those rumors that Scott Mcneally and I are never in the same place at the same time.

Flew from Dehli to Goa on Friday. Much to my Horror the cab driver took me down embassy row on the way to the airport past the U.S. and Canadian embassies. But it was all quiet with no protests outside either of them. There were anti war protests around Connought circle in Dehli and apparently some large ones in Lucknow which has a large muslim population. Sentiment against the war is pretty strong here as many Indians have taken the time to tell me how they feel about it.

One note about the flight to GOA on Air sahara. Served me baskin robbins pineapple ice cream for dessert, now that's luxury.

GOA is in the word's of Matthew Broderick in Biloxi Blues "Africa Hot" except that of course it is Asia hot. Melting daily here with temperatures in the upper 90's and very humid. Power was out all day saturday so no air conditioning or fans. I have run into daily power outages for at least an hour a day every where I have been except mumbai.

The place I am staying is decent but it is British package tourist hell. Sort of like how American's go to Mexican resorts the British do the same in GOA. So they are all here on charter flights direct from England to Goa and spend a couple of weeks on the beach. Inflating the prices. They think it is cheap and it is but they don't realize how much more they are paying than the rest of India. some of these people have come year after year but they never see any other part of India, just GOA. Which is almost nothing like the rest of India as it is a former portugese colony and heavily influenced by that. Mostly catholic and portugese architecture. Lots of meat eating and alcohol as well. God the British are an ugly people. Try sitting on the patio eating breakfast surrounded by old, sunburned, shirtless, fat british men eating eggs. Sends a shiver up your spine doesn't it.

Everyone else in the hotel has gone through these tour groups that offer packaged countrolled daytrips to "experience" Indian culture. One of my favorites I have seen is something called a jungle cruise. One of the highlights it says is a trip to a "Hillbilly village". Now I am not really sure what they mean by that. Do they just mean a rural Goan village. I like to think of it more in Disneyesque terms where it is a village styled after an American hillbilly village with Indians with fake zz top beards portraying hillbillies and working on stills and sitting in rocking chairs with shot guns.

I've tried to convince some of the British to try GOAn specialties like Chicken xicuti and Pork Vindaloo but they just stick to eating steaks and cheeseburgers. (I hope I am not sounding too bitter against the tourists here it is just that it saddens me after having seen so much in India and experienced so much in India to see these people basically just having a transplanted English experience in India complete with PUbs named 10 downing street.)

So as they stay at the resort eating bangers and mash and doing Kareoke I have been off trying to experience the "real" goa. Went over to Old GOA which was the old capital of the portugese and has a lot of old catholic churches. Including the church that holds the crypt of St. Francis Xavier (Won't the Xaverian brothers at my high school be proud). If you don't know the story of St. Francis Xavier's body it was never embambed but has never decomposed so it is considered a miracle. It used to sit out uncovered but people would steal fingernails and body parts off it so now it is covered and only uncovered every 4 years. Next time in 2004. Sign outside of the church read "No lighting of firecrackers in the church." Now the fact that they needed a sign implies to me that at some point this was a problem and occured often which seems quite odd to me.

Also like watching the fishermen in their flat bottom boats setting the nets to catch prawns and crabs. And of course wading in the bathwater warm arabian sea. Kind of odd though that there is a war going on on the other side of it. Planned to spend most of the days here just relaxing on the beach to rest up, but hard to relax when you want to go back and check CNN.

It seems like I have been away a very long time and then again very short. Hard to believe that at the end of this week I will back at that place that I go and sit everyday from 8 to 6. Can't remember exactly what I do there anymore so I am just happy I remember I am supposed to go there.

It seems like I have to leave India just as I have started to get into the swing of it. At the point where:

I have learned to master the Indian finger wave that tells touts and beggars to leave you alone.

I have become comfortable with the fact that Indians don't form orderly lines but just form a crowd and push ahead and only the strongest gets to push the way to there front. Luckily I am much larger than most Indians.

No Longer laugh out loud when a japanese car backs up. This one takes some explaining. Cars in India make noise when backing up sort of like trucks and buses do in the U.S. which is funny because they are tiny cars and I think they beep to tell pedestrians please get out of my way as if I back into you you may crush my car. But anyways for some reasons Japanese cars play a tune when they back up and the tune is Santa Clause is coming to town. Which is baffling as neither Japan nor India are Christian countries.

I have learned that men in India often walk along holding hands or with there arms around each others wastes and it is not a sign that they are gay it is just how men interact over here.

I have learned that any bar you go into in India if you see an Indian women drinking a beer, smoking marlboro cigarrettes, and with a cell phone on the table in front of her it always means that she is a prostitute and should be avoided.

I have learned to ask the autorickshaw driver what form of commission he is getting for taking me to a store and if it a flat fee then negotiate to go to a couple of stores in exchange for free sightseeing.

I can now for the most part order Indian food and have a reasonable idea of what it will look like when it arrives based on the name.

And of course leaving now I am sad that I won't continue to be able to do research for the autorickshaw video game that I have decided I should create as it probably would sell big to the playstation crowd.

And sad that after having spent much of the trip reading "The God of Small Things" that I don't have time to go to the south of India and travel the backwaters of Kerala.

So that is about it from here. Should be home on Wednesday and back at work on Thursday. We flew over Iran on the way here so curious to see if it will be the same on the way back.

Heard about all the snow in Colorado and as I haven't gotten any paniced e-mails, I am assuming that my house is still intact.

later days,

Brian

Amazing Race

2006-01-21T21:17:00.000-07:00

March 2003:

Dehli, Thursday Noon.

Cumulative Cups of Chai\Masala Tea this trip: Somewhere in the 70's I think.

Well it happened. No not war. I new at some point in India I would get Dehli Belly and be sick and it happened Last Friday Night a mere few hours after writing you. Not to bad a case just knocked me down for Saturday. Stuck to Dal and rice for a few days and good as new. Kudos to my body though for choosing to get sick when I was in the hotel with the softest mattress and most western bathroom I have had in India. Now I know where the image of the swami sleeping on a bed of nails comes from. The mattresses in Indian hotels are thin and hard. I think mostly because they have come petrified over the years. Of course in nicer hotels they maybe cushy and soft and it is just the hotels I have been staying in. After Udaipur for much of the way across Rajahstan I have been staying in the more traditional backpacker places. The kind of places that are filled with foreigners here but back in the U.S. would be the kind of hotels that old outlaws would go to die in Willie Nelson songs. $2 a night places where you bring your own lock and provide your own towel and toilet paper. Which is a smart idea anyways since toilet paper in India is the same consistency as paper towels and brand new rolls contain as much toilet paper on them as they do in america at the point where we would throw the roll away or at least change it.

My hotel in Jaipur, where I got sick was $7 a night and quite luxurious in comparison. It has a popular following of people who come back to it every year. Hotel Ariya Niwas. My favorite part of it is what I like to refer to as the Graham Green Veranda. The hotel actually has a small lawn. The first I have seen in India with a veranda with many comfortable chairs. At tea time and later it is filled with Westerners staying at the hotel and all sorts of intrigues are going on. The french and Indians involved in elaborate jewelry deals. The Italians and Japanese laughing it up over something or other. The British and Americans discussing the decline of all great civilizations and British parlimentary politics.

Unfortunately being sick did throw off my plans to go to Ranthambor and see the Tigers as I lost a day and then on Sunday still wasn't sure about venturing far. Jaipur is a much more planned city with wide straight roads unlike the tangled messes of some of the other places. It is still an old city it is just that it's founder was much more into planning the city, Geometry, and Astronomy. Outside of the City I went to Amber fort which was a former capital of the Jaipur area but was abandoned long ago. There is a long walk up a hill to Amber fort and you have the choice of for a fee taking a jeep, or riding an elephant, or for free walking. The elephant rides were expensive and I have ridden elephants before so I chose to walk. The mistake there is that the whole walk up I was harangued by people selling things. It would be similar to climbing Mt. Elbert and having someone trying to push Broncos paraphanelia the whole way up. (note not nearly as long a hike as elbert just a short ten minute walk up stairs). but what was most amusing was again even when they are trying to sell you stuff they are trying to be polite. And most of the time the problem for me is I just don't want what they are selling even if they paid me to take it and that can be hard to get across. So walking up Amber it was like 200 rupees, no, 190 ruppees, no... Oh watch your step here there is a little bit of a drop off. 180 ruppees, no... ...Oh the entrance is to your left sir go that way, 120 rupeees, no, etc. I just start blindly repeating no at some points. I think at one point someone was trying to sell me collector plates from the franklin mint or something and had dropped the price down to 10 rupees or 1 rupee or something but I was just on my automatic no, no, no chant since no matter what I didn't want them. On the way up I passed a snake charmer. What a disappointment. He started to play, pulled off the lid of the basket and the cobra just got out and slithered away and he had to go chase it. Actually I am not even sure it was a cobra I think it might have been a king snake or whatever the snake is that looks like a cobra but is non poisonous.

On Monday was the Elephant Festival. Which was a sort of sad ramshackle event. Parade of Elephants, camels, and horses all dressed and painted in full regalia. Elephant polo, Elephant races, Elephant tug of war vs. Tourists, and folk dancing but sadly not by elephants. What made it odd is that in the West we would all be safely cordoned off a great distance and many barricades from the elephants. Not in India. In India as all this was going on people would just walk by the fences and into the midst of all of the action. I kept picturing the reports on CNN of the 60 elephant stampede and all of the deaths. Finally the police stepped in by putting a rope down on the ground in front of the tourists who had gone in front of the fences. I am assuming some sort of mystical magic rope that cannot be crossed by elephants. One of the most interesting and unrehearsed parts was the flight of giant bats that flew over during the activities.

It was at the Elephant festival that I got the joy of classic ugly americanism. Haven't seen almost any americans here but it is easy to hide as the french and japanese are the ones wearing all of the yankees and USA apparel. But there was a large group of japanese tourists sitting in front of me who kept standing up during the festivities to see better. Understandable considering all the chaos I have already described. Somewhere behind me was a middle aged american man with his family. And he kept shooting at them every time they stood up. Hey Tojo sit down. Hey tokyo sit down. Swearing at them etc. Ah the face of American diplomacy abroad. I am sure his thought was hey my army is a hundred times the size of theirs I shouldn't have to put up with them blocking my view of a free event.

For all of you Stella fans. I found out from the British and the Beligans that Stella is known as the Wife-beater beer. Over there whenever their is a violent criminal or domestic abuse if you look at the record the person was inevitably drinking stella beforehand. So I am going to start calling Kilfoy Wife-beater.

Message on Menu in restaurant in Jaipur: Do not Pay until you receive the Bill. I believe wise advice in many situations.

For you anti-bushites. You should check out the Times of India website and see if they reprint copies of the comic strip Dubyaman. It is an Indian comic strip about George W. in which he runs around in Superman pajamas.

I've seen enough cricket that I may be starting to understand it. I belive that a wicket is like an out in baseball and that at least one way to get a wicket is to catch the ball in the air.

Holi. I can't believe I almost forgot Holi. Holi is the festival of colors over here in India and mostly celebrated in the North. It is based on a lunar calendar yet the National government did not set the exact date until the last minute so in some states it was celebrated on tuesday and others wednesday. Part of the celebration involves smearing powdered colors on people. Hopefully the pictures will come out of me covered in powdered flourescent pink and greens and hopefully my camera is still working after that day. Getting back to the hotel they wouldn't let us in until we went into a bathroom and scrubbed as much of it off as we could. It was like having your mom stop you on the way in from tracking mud in the house. I have heard Holi pronounced both Holly and Holy. I like to go with Holy as then I keep expecting one of the bands playing to break into Neil Diamond's Holy Holy.

But because of Holi no buses ran on Tuesday and I couldn't get a train. I could of gotten a night bus, but I already felt that taking one more bus was like making that one more bet in vegas when you should walk away and taking a night bus I might as well just hurled myself down a flight of stairs.

So that meant wednesday became my practice run for when me and my brother someday appear on the Amazing Race. Got up early on Wednesday to catch a 6 a.m. Bus to Agra. Catching the Bus is always insane in India because it is never clear which Bus is going where and no one will tell you for sure. Luckily someone else figured out for me. Now I have to say that one of the side effects of anti-malaria pills is the possibility of hallucinations but I am pretty sure this happened because I focused hard since I didn't believe it myself. Sitting waiting out from behind the tangles of buses comes an American woman dressed in a highly tailored green sari that looked like it had been designed by Betsy Johnson and wearing stilleto heels. I swear this girl was a dead ringer for Sarah Jessica Parker and had this total New York City\Carrie Bradshaw freak out on some Indians on what the correct bus was to Agra. So after that I knew the correct bus.

Race along to Agra and get there about 11:15 a.m. Find an Auto rickshaw driver to fulfill my elaborate plan. rickshaw to train station, buy ticket for 6:30 p.m. train to Dehli and store backpack at station. back in rickshaw to Taj Mahal. See Tah Mahal. Back in rickshaw to Agra Fort, see Agra fort, back in rickshaw to train station. Train to dehli, taxi to hotel and my wednesday would hopefully be done by midnight. To enhance the Amazing race feel pretended to search the Taj Mahal for clues. Actually I had to slow myself down at the Taj as I was busy looking and taking pictures but not seeing. I stopped myself to close my eyes to see if I could picture what the Taj Mahal looked like in my mind and couldn't so had to stop to make sure I really saw it. Although there really isn't much to see beyond the outside. The inside is a crypt and surrounded by fences to protect it now so can't see much. At the Taj there are many professional photographers willing to take your picture for a fee and especially in cutesy poise where it looks like you are dangling the taj from your hand. Not really interested so whenever the asked me I would ask if they could do some tasteful nude shots.

In India Foreigners or Tourists are like their own caste. They are treated better than Indians in many waysbut in some was worse. For example anywhere you go there is always one price for indians and one price for foreigners. Taj price for indians 5 rupees Taj price for foreigners 750 ruppes (about $13 vs. 10 cents).

Oh in Agra they tried to pull the Gem scam on me. This is a scam in which they try to get Tourists to carry back worthless jewels to their home country saying it is to avoid import fees and that they will be met at that country and paid a great some of money but just have to put up a security fee. Oh my joy at being able to pull out a copy of Rahul's business card showing him as a gemologist and diamond exporter. There tune changed immediately and they were like oh no we weren't talking about that scam we were just saying that foreigners like to buy gold or silver here and sell it at home. Right thanks.

Arrived in Dehli late last night. I had been dreading dehli as most people I have met came in through Dehli and hated it and recommended getting out of there as fast as possible. I actually have found Dehli at least New Dehli to be quite clean and organized compared to other Indian cities and Mumbai, or maybe it is just that I have become accustomed to India and it is losing its ability to terrify me.

Yes I know about the war. Actually my hotel room in Dehli is the first one where I have had a tv in the room (HBO has commercials in INdia). Nothing to really do about it and feel pretty safe here compared to being in America. Besides wouldn't be able to get another flight before my scheduled flight on wednesday anyways.

So tomorrow I fly to Goa and then hang out there until tuesday when I take the train back up to Mumbai and then leave for home early Wednesday morning.

Soft drink News: Miranda is like the slice of India with all the fruit flavors but no grape. Limca is like sprite. MOuntain Dew was just introduced in Rajasthan to great fanfare. Side note from South Africa and the World Cup. Coke and Tab are the biggest selling soft drinks there, pepsi has just been introduced.

later days,

Brian

Desert Drifter

2006-01-21T21:10:00.000-07:00

March 2003:

Jaipur, Rajasthan March 14th, 3 p.m. local tme.

Cumulative Cups of Chai\Masala Tea this trip: 48
Hello Again,

I have done some hard traveling since I last wrote. Spent the last week traveling across rajahstan and now I am in Jaipur the capital of Rajahstan.

More random recaps of the week that was.

Loved Udaipur alot. The only thing I didn't like was all of the art colleges. Every store in Udaipur is an "art college" in the same way that every brothel is a sex education center. The statement is true but it is hardly its primary purpose. Someone posing as a student tries to get you to come and show you his art work which is going to be traveling to a show outside of India. Then he gets his "teacher" and they try to get you to buy art. Pretty much caught on as soon as the guy asked me in the street if I wanted to see his etchings. But as long as you have enough willpower to not buy at least you get to see how they make the colors and stuff for the moghul paintings.

Saw a Rajasthani show of folk dancing. All rajasthani folk dancing seems to consist of dancing with things on your head. pots of fire, flowers, stacks and stacks of water filled basins. Plus you tend to dance on swords, broken glass, dixie cups or whatever painful item is handy. To me the best part of the show was before it started since it was outside in a haveli courtyard. There was a tree in the middle of the courtyard and they kept wacking it with a stick to get some monkeys out of it who were throwing branches down on the stage. Finally the monkeys climbed down in a scene reminiscent of the people climbing down from the light towers at woodstock during the lightning storm.

Wherever you go in India people ask you "What Country" I have figured out that this is to size up how much money you have and how much you can afford to spend. Saying Canada doesn't help as they think you have almost as much money as an american and are an easier pushover. Some people have mistaken me for Italian over here so I have been going with that.

More Soft drink news. First Coke seems to be badly losing the battle to Pepsi. Someplaces I can barely get coke. Some one call the executives in Atlanta. If pepsi wins it will be like living in a communist country. They have something here called lemon soda which is basically squeeze a lemon and then give you a bottle of seltzer water.

Traveled by Car from Udaipur to Jodhpur so that I could stop Kumbhal Ghar which is a huge fort up in the mountains with stone walls like the great wall of china that go on forever. One of the nice things about that trip is that I got to see rural life. The Indians in that area where really brightly colored clothing, veils, turbans, etc. Actually saw women carrying the water on there heads like in the folk dance.

Also stopped at Narangar which is a beautiful Jain Temple. Unfortunately at most of the temples you can't take pictures so most of these are only stored in my memory. Sign outside Jain temple: "No Leather or Menstrauting women" Sounds more like a sign you would find outside of a gay bar. Imagine my chagrin as this was the day I chose to wear my leather chaps.

The bad part of the drive from Udaipur to Jodhpur was that we had to drive the final stretch at night. Riding in a car during the day is bad enough. People avoid turning on their lights until it is pitch black and then some still don't and some don't have lights. Just suddenly a car appears coming head on at you.

Made it to Jodhpur and stayed in a nice small guest house run by an Indian family. There son is working on his masters in English literature and so I found out the names of some good Indian Authors. Also met a crazy dutch man there who was supposed to be in India from FEbruary through May but has already blown all his money. He is plotting a krameresque scheme involving toothbrushes. Those special oral b toothbrushes that go for 3 dollars in Europe and the U.S. are only about 80 cents here so he is going to throw away all his clothes and just carry back toothbrushes in his backpack. The effect on world toothbrush markets could be devistating. Also met an Israeli couple who had just arrived in India after being in Vietnam and Cambodia. There are a lot of places catering to Israelis in India it seems to be a hot spot for vacationing for them. They asked me how long I had been in India. I was completely at a lost and could only give them the day I arrived. And then they told me that means I have been here a week. Each day feels like 4 days in India. I am having trouble remembering the "before time."

The bad thing about Jodhpur was the drought. All of rajasthan is in the midst of a 5 year drought. But as Jodhpur is on the edge of the desert it is particularly bad. Only 1 hour of water every other day is allowed. Unable to shower there. The actually city was interesting but very confusing with all its narrow lanes. I wanted to reach the fort above the city but got lost in the old city for hours. The funny part being that everytime I ran into a school kid they wanted to practice their English. "Hello, How are you, what is your name" and shake my hand. I had the misfortune of passing a school as it got out. We must of shook at least a hundred little hands by the time we were done. Finally made it to the Fort and it was awesome. Very well preserved and incredible view of the Blue City. Most of the houses are painted blue in Jodhpur.

Decided to go to PushKar from Jodhpur and took the bus. That was another adventure. First there was the same size crew as an apollo mission to run the bus. One guy to drive, One guy to look out the door and make sure we didn't hit anybody. The third guy to run the VCR and make sur it was at a volume the whole time that caused people in Nepal to open their windows and shout "turn that down". Near tragedy as they were having a problem with the VCR and I thought we may turn back "Ladies and Gentlemen don't be alarmed, but we are going to have to attempt a free return trajectory back to jodhpur. Riding the bus is worse than being in the car. Go as fast as they can and jump in and out of on coming traffic. Many times the bus and cars would come upon something unexpected and buses, trucks, and cars, would start peeling out in all directions. Passed the old burntout wrecks of past trucks and buses flipped over on the side of the road.

Pushkar was nice. A little like Boulder and I think I ran into some of the same American Hippies. I think the reason people like PushKar is because it is so quiet. only 13,000 people which is tiny for India. Very relaxing. It is a holy Hindu city around a lake and many temples.
The bad part about PushKar. Drive by Henaiings. You are walking along and a woman says hello how are you and puts out her hand as to shake it, if you do she grabs it and starts henaiing your palm and then asks to be paid after. So you have to be careful which sucks as the biggest problem in India is that you constantly have to guard against scams but at the same time everyone in India is really friendly so you hate being rude and they hate it if you are rude. As even though they are scaming you they still believe in being polite.

I have no idea what is going on in the world. Everytime I do find a paper all I can find is news on the Super Six Cricket world cup. The worst part of that is that I can't understand how cricket works so even if I read the articles I can't tell who won. But that is the front page news and middle page and back page news. Nothing about anything else in the world.

Confused for a while on signs I kept seing for stores selling vests, briefs, and panties. Couldn't figure out the connection. I have never been standing in my briefs thinking "hmm something feels incomplete, ah I know a vest would complement this nicely, maybe something in paisley" Finally figured out that vests are t-shirst.

Possible Album or Book titles:

"Foreigners and Freedom Fighters" : Special lines in the train station for tourists or veterans.

"Masala Tea and Banana Porridge" : My usual breakfast.

India is not a quiet place. I wish I had brought a digital tape recorder. Some group or other is always chanting or ringing bells or something at some god awful hour of the morning.

Lastly I leave you with this thought from a sign: "Ganesh says Save fuel" I think it is the Indian version of what would Jesus drive.

Here in Jaipur for the weekend and then on to Agra (Taj Mahal) and Dehli and from there to GOA. No more buses all trains and planes from here.

Later Days,

Brian

Bombay Beginnings

2006-01-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

March 2003:

Udaipur, Rajahstan
Cumulative Cups of Chai\Masala Tea this Trip: 15
Hey Everyone,
Sorry it has taken so long to write. I arrived in Udaipur this morning so I figured I would take the time recap my memories of Mumbai (Bombay).
O.K. Forever what I will remember is the insane driving and traffic. There are no lanes just as may cars, taxis, autorickshaws, buses, oxen pulled carts, horses, pedestrians, wild dogs, people pushed carts that can fit. All ridding bumper to bumper on top of each other and making their own lanes. Constantly when rahul was driving I thought that suddenly we would get crunch between two other cars but we always managed beyond physics to pull through. Some of my favorite things is that apparently in India the right hand is empowered with super strength and by mearly holding it out the window you can hold back the other car and cut him off. Also there seems to be some law where you must honk your horn ever 15 seconds to ensure that it is working. Actually they honk everytime they pass to let someone know they are there. Crossing the street is insane. At one point I had to cross a street with a pointed stone median in the middle I made it to the median and then had to balance on it as trucks zoomed by on both sides until I could cross the other side. I belive this will soon be a new x-games sport, crossing mumbai streets. And this is the perfectly acceptable way to do it. I often saw people just get caught in the middle of the street and stand still like a tree as cars zoomed on all sides until they could cross. That is why I like riding in the autorickshaws which are like three wheeled motorcycles with a cap over it. Sort of like the capped golf carts they used to use to bring relief pitchers in from the bullpen. The joy of them is that the canopy sort of obscures your view so it is like traveling inside an egg of ignorance where you don't have to know what is happening.
One day I took an autorickshaw down to Bandara to buy some shirts. $8 bucks for probably some of the best quality cotton shirts I will ever own. But that was a memory as well. As I walked in the store and said I wanted some shirts and the clerk just proceeded to pull them off the shelf and dump them on the counter saying after each one "this color sir, this color sir," etc. until their was probably a hundred shirts on the counter, Every time I found a shirt I wanted to look at he would dump ten more on top. I finally picked three and then purchasing them was an adventure. It took two managers to manually add up the total and double check it. Then an incredibly well dressed yet barefoot boy to carry them down to the check out counter. Sanjay the store was Amarson's and I know have a frequent buyers card.
Whenever Rahul was their I always ate well other times it was guess work. For breakfast I couldn't figure out what to order. So there was something called pankoora that they said available only before 11 so sounded like breakfast maybe pancakes? Well basically it was some sort of fried dough with a dairy compound in the middle I thought cheese but rahul says no. Served complete with ketchup. So basically I think I had mozzerella sticks for breakfast.
Pop culture stuff. Their is an Indian MTV and I listened to a lot of Indian radio where both the songs and DJ switch back and forth between Hindi and English. My favorite so far "Boys are Best, Challala...Girls are Best, Challala" which is sung by competing men and women singers ala and Indian Summer loving from Grease. Side not in a bar I heard them play some cuts from Crowded Houses Woodface. I have never been anywhere in the US where they have played a song from that album. Tried an Indian soda. Called "Thums up" with no b. Tasted as it would if Coke would make a drink that was entirely syrup and no carbonated water.
The mixture of wealth and poverty side by side in Bombay is pretty interesting. In the us we relegate the poor to certain neighborhoods. Here people who work in a road side store often sleep on the ground outside of it at night while you can look over at the high rise next door and see someone watching their wide screen tv. It is all blended together as just one and the way things are. Don't know if that is good or bad but at least they don't hide it.
Wild dogs. I knew about them being here but how they act surprised me. They just hang out like any dog would and everyone just ignores them like they aren't their. Do you know how creepy it is to see a family sitting having a picnic as a pack of wild dogs stands encircling them, watching, waiting, and everyone acts like they aren't there.
Oh my hotel in Mumbai. Some of you knew but some didn't that it is run by the hare krishna's sort of like how the mormons run marriot. There is a temple next door. Every morning at 4:30 a.m. they get up and start chanting. Is listening to Hare Krishna's chanting as you get ready in the morning more left or right wing than listening to NPR.
Rahul had a death in the family (uncle's relative) during the week so I was unable to go see his and Sanjay's diamond factory or eat at his house. Disappointing but so goes life. Being HIndi the person died at 10 a.m. and needed to have the funeral by the end of the day.
Took a local flight to Udaipur this morning. Security here, I don't know if it stricter or just to reach indian full employment they do everything redundently. First you can't take batteries in your carry on luggage. Second they check you and your carry on luggage three times and stamp it each time. Then you have to show your security stamp when you get on the plane and show it again when you get off the plane, In case you snuck on midflight I guess.
Staying in a hotel in Udaipur on Lake Pichola with my room looking out on the lake and the lake palace, and the monsoon palace on a mountain in the distance. Watching the people "dhobis?" doing the laundry on the ghats by the lake edge. My room has a nice cushioned alcove that could fit three to sit and look out of. Not the place you mentioned Chris I'll explain when I get back why the switch. Octopussy was filmed here and it plays in many restaurants at night but I prefer the many rooftop restaurants in the Sun.
Sanjay I checked into going to see that temple you wanted me to see, but they say only hindi's can see the inside so I don't think I will go.
Oh one comment on the flight to India. Lufthansa shows these creepy computer animated videos. DAd and daughter sitting with daughter swinging legs. Oxygen masks come down. Dad stares forward in daze. Daughter looks over at dad in terror then looks forward in daze as legs start swinging less. Finally dad puts on masks and turns to put mask on daughter at this point her legs have almost completely stopped swinging. Then mask on and swinging again. It is the kind of thing that saturday night live might put on sprockets as a parody of German saturday morning cartoons.
Had my first anti-malaria medication induced vivid dream last night. Cool.
Will be here in Udaipur until Tuesdau morning and then head to Jhopur.
Sorry this is so rambling but typing fast stream of consciousness. Oh yeah I am safe and well.
those who have sent me e-mails because internet connection is so slow here I won't respond to any of those until I get back. Also please try not to send me jokes or other e-mails until I get back as also it takes me a lot of time to delete them to get my mailbox down to a size where I can send e-mail again.
And for those of you who wish to reply to this e-mail careful who you include and don't just hit reply to all (Yeah you know exactly which couple of you I am talking about). I have quite a mixed group in this alias and don't want anyone to get offended.
later days,
Brian

2006-01-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

Going to start this off by posting all my old travel emails so I'm not always searching for them.